On the 24th October 2023 we lost our 17 year old son Mac, he took his life at home I found him.
Our lives will never be the same and I cannot begin to understand the pain my boy was ging through that drove him to making that final decision.
I have done some hard things in my life, but I will never ever do anything as hard as I had to do that morning, to leave Mac lying down in a pool of my tears and go into the kitchen where his then 14 year old Sister was getting ready for school and to tell her that her Brother had passed away was shattering. I often hear people talk about their lives being “shattered” by missing the winning goal or missing out on a job interview, the perspective I have gained from the loss of my boy is probably what has kept me alive.
Mac was on the internet one day in August 2022, toggling between a number of Meta-managed platforms when he befriended someone he thought was an 18 year old Woman, I have seen the pictures and she looked every bit a very attractive 18 year old. The new acquaintance within 8 minutes of meeting Mac had shared a nude picture of herself with her face and encouraged Mac to do likewise after telling him he was very handsome and built like a sportsman and should be on Television. Mac did share a completely nude picture of himself including a headshot.
Communication ceased after this but Macs phone rang and he looked down and did not recognise the number but thought it may be the 18 year old Woman that he had just met online. It turned out that the other person on the telephone was a 47 year old man that told my 16 year old that he had the nude picture that Mac had sent and had hacked into his account and started to read out some of the addresses one of which was mine – his Dad. And if Mac did not deposit $500 into a particular account within 5 minutes he would share that picture. Mac panicked as he had to go to football training as the Captain the next night and was embarrassed and ashamed and frightened that the picture would be released. Mac paid the terrorist $500, thinking that the “deal” was done and Mac did not have to worry anymore about the nude picture of himself being released to friends and family. These extortionists do not share the same human values that we have. Within a few more minutes Macs phone rang again and when answering the phone sheepishly Mac was told by the perpetrator that he had received the $500 from Mac but wanted another $500 and if Mac did not send the extra $500 within 3 minutes he would distribute the nude picture and if he did distribute it Macs parents would hate him and Mac would want to kill himself.
Mac came into me at that point and whilst Mac was a resilient lad when hugging him telling him we would look after him and that we were all in this together I could feel the moisture on my shoulder from him crying.
The phone rang whilst we were hugging and Mac asked me to try and sort it out with the extortionist but the phone call became animated and it ended with the extortionist saying I hope you die and I hope your son dies – the picture was released.
Mac was never the same he became introverted, he became withdrawn, would rarely come out of his room, and he wrote prior to him taking his life that this episode of sexual extortion was 1 of the reasons he took his life.
Mac used to fold over an A4 piece of paper and make a greeting card for me for my Birthday or Fathers Day normally the front would be a hand drawn picture of he and I playing sport in the backyard, like him bowling his leg spinners and my bails flying off but inside the A4 piece of paper would be the most beautiful words about his love for me. It would always end with I love you Dad. In September 2023 a month before Mac took his life Fathers day arrived and on this day Mac had for the first time in years not provided me with a card and I asked him why, his response was that he could not write those cards anymore because he could not trust that the words written on those cards would not be shared with others… he had lost trust in everyone including me – his loving Dad.
I decided to use Macs death as a catalyst to do more around suicide prevention. I formed a Not For Profit and called it Smacktalk. Its purpose is to educate as many children and parents about the perils of some social media and tips and tricks to mitigate the risk of being scammed or extorted on line. I have now spoken directly to over 32,000 people from ages 10 to 86 over 220 presentations and we have saved 10 lives directly.
I was approached by Newscorp to be a part of a campaign to lobby the Australian Government to introduce Legislation disallowing Tech Giants like Meta and Google the ability to provide access to children under 16 to some of their platforms. The response was remarkable with both sides of Government agreeing to the Legislation – bipartisan support which is rare in Australian politics. The Legislation was passed in Dec 2024 – a world first and implemented in December 2025. We now know several other countries have adopted a similar approach to protect children but the Legislation is not a silver bullet, education is. As is the decision by larger Countries such as the UK to adopt a similar approach to Australia and with our combined resources and leverage, make a change in this World which will protect our Children and ultimately save their lives in some instances.
Educating children and educating Parents will be the silver bullet with the Legislation underpinning parents when their under-16 child demands to have access to platforms with chat functions that are dangerous and deadly.
Had this legislation been in place, underpinned by a robust education program when Mac was growing up, he would be alive today. If I had known then what I know now, Mac would be alive.
**If you have been impacted by this story, or know someone who needs help and support, then please don’t delay, call the Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org, or the youth suicide charity Papyrus can be contacted on 0800 068 4141 or email pat@papyrus.org**
