I recently hosted a debate in Parliament on relationship education in schools – as a mother of three and as MP for Epsom & Ewell, where the devastating reality of violence against women and girls has been felt far too acutely in recent years. However, this crisis extends far beyond my constituency boundaries; violence against women and girls is a national epidemic that urgently needs fixing.
The relationship education that our young people currently receive does not address the realities of what it means to be a young person today. If we fail to urgently adapt and strengthen our approach to relationship education, we will fail to counter the inappropriate, and often misogynistic ideas that our young people are exposed to, and with it, fail to protect women and girls from the violence that these ideas spur.
Prevention starts with education and the creation of a space for our young people to have conversations about relationships. As a mother of three teenagers, two boys and a girl,I have done my best to ensure that they understand what a healthy relationship looks like and how to treat others with respect. However, as every parent knows, children do not always see their parents as the ultimate source of wisdom; they look to their peers, the internet and the world around them. That is why relationship education in schools is so vital. If we get it right, better relationship education will create a safe space where young people can discuss these ideas openly with their peers, guided by teachers who are knowledgeable about the challenges that young people face.
The charity Let Me Know found that 60% of the young people polled did not know the signs of a healthy or unhealthy relationship. This underlines the urgency of getting this right. It is also vital that social media giants do more to protect our young people.
Shockingly, but unsurprisingly, one in four women and one in six men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, and domestic abuse starts young. Those aged 16 – 19 are the most likely to experience it, which is why I’m urging the Government to focus on prevention. Despite increasing political attention, sexual assault rates among women aged 16 to 59 rose from 3.4% in 2009-10 to 4.3% in 2023-24. Prevention must be a priority, not an afterthought.
We need to stop treating violence against women and girls as something that can be addressed only after the fact – after a woman has been assaulted, coerced, or has lost her life. We need to act before it happens, and that starts with education and empowering our young people with the knowledge of what a healthy relationship is.
The recent Netflix series, “Adolescence”, has brought national attention to the dangers facing young people today – but teachers and parents are struggling to keep up with the ever-evolving nature of those threats. Teachers need far greater support to tackle these issues in schools. Too often, they are simply ill-equipped and unprepared to teach relationships, sex and health education.
Half of pupils reported that power imbalances and pornography were not covered in their lessons, and 56% said that what a healthy relationship looks like was not covered either. That should be absolutely key.
A whole-school approach is essential in addressing these issues effectively. An approach that encourages schools to review their existing procedures and culture, to ensure that they model respectful relationships and gender equality practices across the entire school community. It should address the urgent need to tackle the rise of online misogyny, the increasing prevalence of violence against women and girls, and the damaging impact of pornography and exploitative media on young people’s perceptions of relationships. By embedding those values into the fabric of the school environment, we can create a culture that actively challenges harmful stereotypes and promotes positive, healthy relationships.
I recently heard from a young constituent, who wrote to me expressing her frustration that while the conversation on violence against women and girls often focuses on policing and reporting, prevention is often overlooked. She told me how her cousin, a newly qualified teacher, was asked to deliver Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) lessons despite feeling completely unprepared to do so. She is right to be frustrated. Young people overwhelmingly support strong education on relationships, with 87% saying that there should be more teaching about relationships, abuse and sexual health. We owe it to them to listen.
That is why I am calling on the Government to make the following urgent reform to RHSE in this country:
●Update the 2019 guidance to reflect the realities of young people’s lives today.
●Extend mandatory RSHE lessons to reach 16 to 18-year-olds.
●Make RSHE a key component of initial teacher training.
●Invest in training for school staff to better understand the online spaces that young people navigate today.
We cannot afford to play politics with the health, safety and wellbeing of our children and a cross-party approach is needed. The brilliant contributions from MPs from across the house in my Westminster Hall Debate, makes me believe this vital change is possible.
The Government must prioritise prevention, invest in education and listen to the voices of our young people who are asking us for change.
I’m fighting for urgent relationship education reform in schools – here’s why:
