This Lesbian Visibility Week, I led a debate in Parliament to mark the occasion: a chance to reflect, to celebrate, and to push for change. This year’s theme, celebrating rainbow families, speaks to something deeply personal for so many of us: how we form and cherish our families as LGBT+ women and non-binary people.
Our families come in many forms. We may be same-sex parents, co-parents, adoptive parents or part of chosen families, however we build our families, they are just as real, just as meaningful, and just as deserving of respect as any other.
As a lesbian and a mum of two, one of whom was conceived through IVF, I know how hard the path to parenthood can be. My partner and I faced unnecessary medical procedures, long waits and serious financial barriers. That was 16 years ago. Since then, access to IVF has only grown more unequal. Today, LGBT+ people face a postcode lottery of access, even higher costs, and outdated requirements that amount to discrimination.
This week, I was proud to host the second annual parliamentary reception for Lesbian Visibility Week with Diva, where the London Women’s Clinic launched its new IVF Equality Manifesto. Its message was clear: no one should be denied the chance to build a family because of their sexuality or gender identity. I’ve written to ministers on this issue many times, and I will keep pushing until that message is heard and acted on.
It was heartening to see that these views were shared unanimously across all benches and my good friend the Minister committed to the governments election pledges on conversion therapy, IVF reform and that she will look into an apology for those lesbians who had their children taken away from them in the past.
While visibility matters, so does how we are seen and whether we are treated with dignity. Too often, we are not.
I am misgendered on a near-weekly basis. Sometimes by staff in shops or on trains, sometimes even by people in this very House. I am not alone in this. Many butch lesbians and gender non-conforming women experience the same, and it can wear you down. It is not just about language; it is about being recognised and respected for who we are.
The recent Supreme Court ruling has only deepened these anxieties. While its impact will fall most heavily on our trans siblings, it will affect many of us. I suspect I will face more challenges now when accessing single-sex spaces, and I know that the ruling has made life more dangerous and more uncertain for trans people. It offers little clarity and a great deal of harm. The court should not be telling me what a lesbian is or isn’t, nor should it be rolling back protections for any part of our community.
Misgendering is obviously annoying but it speaks to a wider point, as a cis woman I could now be refused access or be challenged for being in women’s spaces – as could anyone who doesn’t conform to society’s perfect idea of femininity.
There were some brilliant contributions from MP’s in particular from Nadia Whittome and Olvia Bailey and from the Minister Nia Griffth and I was so pleased that the Labour benches were so full of people speaking and making interventions.
Everyone who spoke gave encouragement to Lesbians who are not yet in a position to be out and proud, or who are at the start of their journey.
We all need to make sure we support each other and remember to reach out virtually, physically in real life and on social media.
Because we are stronger together. Trans people and lesbians are not in separate fights; we are part of the same struggle for freedom, dignity and respect. We have been here before, and we have prevailed before.
To my trans siblings: I see you. I stand with you. And just like our community did when Section 28 tried to silence us, we will fight back and we will win.
I want to wish all Lesbians globally a Happy Lesbian Visibility Week.
Rainbow families deserve respect, recognition and reproductive justice
