One of the key roles of a Parliament is to give a voice to the voiceless. Last week in Parliament, I was privileged to lead a cross-party debate to a group of children too often ignored, too often unheard, and too often left to cope alone: the 2.5 million children in Britain growing up with an alcoholic parent.
These children live in every part of our country—in our cities, our suburbs, and, as I know from my own experience, in our rural villages too. They are the children who quietly manage the chaos at home, who watch bottles instead of cartoons, who learn to navigate their parental addiction long before they learn long division. They are the children who suffer in silence. And too often they have no voice.
I speak not just as an MP but as someone who grew up as a child carer of alcoholic parent in a family turned upside down by my fathers mental illness, alcoholism & bankruptcy. On paper, I had every material privilege imaginable—the best schools, a loving extended family, a safe environment. Which is why I’m one of the lucky ones who survived to thrive. But whatever their background, children of alcoholics share the same misery: the fear, deceit, responsibility & loneliness of dealing with – and often covering up – the fallout from an alcoholic parent. It’s the same ordeal.
As a child, I learned very young to pick out the adults who could “see below the line”: those who quietly recognised that something wasn’t right and offered a kind word or a moment of humanity. Often, that is all a child needs—just to know someone has noticed.
Too often the secrecy and stigma of addiction means it’s hidden. Along with the suffering. Children of addiction lack a proper network of support. Which means too many children, lacking anyone they can confide in, normalise the dysfunctional behaviours of addiction, learn to lie to protect their parents, hide the drinking, manage the household, and take on the responsibilities of adults long before their time. The effects stay with them into adulthood—fuelling an all too common cycle of mental illness, addiction, relationship breakdown, and in too many cases, encounters with the criminal justice system.
This is why I am stepping up as the new Chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) for Children of Alcoholics, following the outstanding leadership of former MP Jon Ashworth and Liam Byrne MP. Ours is a truly cross-party mission: to break the silence, to speak for the children of alcohol wherever they are, to expose the hidden epidemic of inter-generational alcohol harm, and to push for real, deliverable reforms.
The wonderful National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACOA) is doing extraordinary work—often filling gaps left by the state. Their volunteers hear from children as young as five who don’t know who to turn to, who feel responsible for their parent’s drinking, and who are often terrified of speaking up. Add to this the stigma, the lack of public understanding, and the sheer invisibility of these children, and it becomes clear why this has remained an unspoken national tragedy for decades.
Alcohol is woven into British culture. Most people drink responsibly. But our tolerance for excess—and our reluctance to discuss the consequences—means that children living with addiction are often the last to be noticed. The tragedy is that we know what early intervention can do. With the right early support, these children can be helped to thrive. Without it, many fall into the same cycles of PTSD that often shaped their parents’ lives.
This Parliament has a chance to break that cycle. In the coming months, the APPG will publish a manifesto for reform: practical, affordable measures designed to strengthen safeguarding, improve mental health support, coordinate local services, and ensure that children affected by alcohol are no longer left to navigate these challenges alone. We will be seeking support across parties, and across both Houses, to make this a national mission.
But this is also about public awareness. If you think you don’t know a child living with an alcoholic parent, you are almost certainly wrong. They are everywhere: in your schools, your churches, your community groups, your extended family. They are the quiet children, the overly responsible children, the anxious children, the exhausted children. They are the children who desperately need to be noticed & acknowledged.
My message to them—as someone who once stood exactly where they stand—is this: you are not alone. There are people fighting for you. There are people who understand. Believe it or not many are in Parliament – and committed to giving you the support you deserve.
Last weeks debate was a “call to arms” to colleagues from across all parties and both Houses who would like to become a member of the APPG for the Children of Alcoholics. By working together we can make a difference.
If we get this right, we won’t just change policy. We will change lives. And for millions of children across our country, that change cannot come soon enough.
It’s Time We Spoke Up for Britain’s Children Suffering in Silence
